this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
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