I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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