Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Just pee around me
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.