Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation