Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
