some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize