Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
3pm strippers are depressing
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize