susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
do herpes really smell.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
