You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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