she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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