we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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