My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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