ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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