Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize