Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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