Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize