he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
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You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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