Kiss
Puke
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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