conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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