who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize