Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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