wanna go halves on a baby?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
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My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
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Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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