Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
