i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
