idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
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I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
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Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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