i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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