i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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