i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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