debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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