Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.