Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday