honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
