oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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