Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
We are all done wearing pants today
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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