It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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