what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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