Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
