Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
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