Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
It's official drugs can't kill me
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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