idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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