You're a womanizer and a bitch.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
