CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
