Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize