somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I smell stomach acid.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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