Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
