I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
