I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
