We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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