but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize