kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
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I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
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you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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