party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize