I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He passed out mid-signature
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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